Commentary by Bob Brams: Clarity on success from wrestling to surviving a brain tumor

Note: Wrestling leader Bob Brams, who has worked tirelessly to raise funds and create awareness about the fight against cancer, gave this speech to those who attended the 2017 Crush Cancer Tournament in Washington, D.C.


I'm Bob Brams. I'm the father of St. John's graduate, Garrett Brams who was co-captain of the wrestling team in 2015. I'm proud to say that both Garrett and my daughter, Taylor are now students at the University of Maryland.


First off -- Thank you all for being here today. Frankly, I am awfully glad to be here myself.


I say this because I am facing a serious health issue that inspired this wrestling tournament.


I appreciate the wrestling mindset.


I wrestled in middle school, high school and college in Pennsylvania. I coached a beltway team, and my son wrestled for years in this very gym at St John's. My son was then recruited to wrestle for an NCAA Division I college team.


I've gotten some trophies and medals in wrestling, but I never thought I'd get the award for being the sickest guy on the neuro-intensive care unit at Johns Hopkins hospital.


I got that award!


I had brain surgery for close to 8 hours for the removal of a tumor. On top of that, I had unexpected complications following surgery. I had a stroke, went into a coma, and had to be put on life support. Unfortunately, the tumor could not be removed in its entirety.


I'm lucky to have survived, but I'll be stuck with MRIs for the rest of my life to monitor my tumor.


Over my long hospital stay, I couldn't walk, I couldn't think and I couldn't speak. Of course these were all things that came in handy during my 30 year career as a lawyer. I had to learn these very important life skills all over again. I'm still learning these basic skills, and I'm still in therapy today, over two and half years after my brain surgery. I am grateful today to be able to stand here and string some thoughts together for you. I'm also grateful that I still have the ability to even speak. Theses skills that I’m now relearning are all ones we take for granted, but shouldn't.


I now spend a lot of my time focused on how to adapt to a new me. I've had to make changes in the way I think and process things, how I listen to, concentrate on and remember things, and how to most effectively tolerate noise and speak. These are all problems you probably wouldn't notice unless you spent a lot of time with me.


I was mentally gone for the winter of 2015. Imagine spending two months in a time warp. One of the first things I do recall is watching my son wrestle on TV at the national prep school tournament at Lehigh University. I was too sick to travel to Lehigh. I didn't miss many of my son's matches over many years, but unfortunately I did miss a lot of them during his senior year of high school.


I know that watching me at Hopkins was far worse for others than it was for me. I was oblivious, essentially a blank slate for a couple of months. Despite all that I went through, I literally recall nothing about the unpleasant situation and the pain I was in. Apparently, the brain just shuts itself down when things are at their worst.


So what's the take away for parents and wrestlers from all this:


I really do think that the mindset I developed from seeing wrestling in various contexts over many years helped save my life. I also feel that the values that wrestling instills have helped me with parenting and with many other challenges outside of wrestling.


I'll brag for just a second about the glory days of high school to make a point. I beat all the kids from the better wrestling programs in Delaware you might know like St. Marks, Salesianum and St. Andrews. But here's where the bragging stops. I was never a D1 wrestler, never won a college tournament and had plenty of losses.


The losses in wrestling didn't prevent me from achieving plenty of successes later in life. Maybe the losses caused me to work that much harder to become a partner and practice chair in two top international law firms where I travelled the world on major cases. Wrestling even entered my legal practice. I was proud to have been retained by USA Wrestling in its successful effort to bring wrestling back into the Olympics.


To refine my thoughts a bit further, I’ve found that wrestling shows you what you and you alone can achieve both on and off the mat if you're willing to work hard. No room for excuses on the mat or in life.


I always tell my kids, you're not always going to like the cards your dealt in life. Trust me. Life's not easy for anyone. While I always give my kids encouragement, I don't sugar coat problems either. I tell the kids to "suck it up and deal with it."


Whether it's in wrestling, school, business or life, when you face an opponent or problem, prepare for it, step up to the line and beat it. But always do it with character, integrity and honesty.


By competing today, you're showing yourself and everyone in the gym that you're able to step up to the line and face a tough challenge.


For lack of a better term, it "sucks" to lose, but it isn't the end of the world. Enjoy your wins and learn from your losses in every aspect of life.


Several thank yous are in order.


1. First, thank you to Johns Hopkins and it's Chief of Neurosurgery, Dr. Henry Brem (my surgeon) for literally saving my life.


2. Thank you to my parents, my wife Kim, my son Garrett and daughter Taylor and to other family members and friends for standing by me for a very long winter. Kim was always by my side as an amazing advocate.


3. I want to thank all of you who donated to Hopkins. Please remember to keep supporting Hopkins. Hopkins is right in our own back yard, and it's the nation's top ranked medical and research institution.


4. Finally, I want to thank St. John's College High School for organizing and supporting this tournament and important cause, including donating to Hopkins.


Thank you again, and good luck to all you wrestlers for the rest of the tournament.

TO MAKE A TAX DEDUCTIBLE DONATION TO JOHNS HOPKINS MEDICINE ON LINE:


Please visit the site: https://secure.jhu.edu/form/neurosrg

In the link under the heading "Gift Amount and Designation" go to the end of the scroll down and specify "Crush Cancer - Brams Fund." Then follow the form's remaining directions and hit Submit to make you donation.

TO DONATE TO HOPKINS BY CHECK/MAIL:


Please send your check directly to the following address, made payable to Johns Hopkins, and include in the check memo portion, "Crush Cancer - Brams Fund":


Flor Hiponia, Department of Neurosurgery The Fund for Johns Hopkins Medicine

550 N. Broadway, Suite 727

Baltimore, MD 21205