Father and son wrestlers share how to they’ve maintained a passion for the sport across generations
There was one match that stood out to longtime wrestling fans in the opening round of the 2016 NCAA Division I national tournament. At 157 pounds, Joe Smith of Oklahoma State defeated Jake Ryan of Ohio State, 11-9, in sudden victory overtime.
Smith is the son of Oklahoma State head coach John Smith, while Ryan is the son of Ohio State coach Jake Ryan.
The fact that second and third generation wrestlers are making an impact on the sport of wrestling, both at the college and high school level, is no surprise. There is a long list of coaches/fathers whose sons excel in the sport.
But what’s unique about these wrestlers is they all seem to say the same thing. Dad was a coach, but didn’t force wrestling upon them. In an article in The Lantern, the Ohio State University student newspaper, Jake Ryan said this about wrestling for his dad, Tom: “He definitely introduced me to it, but he never forced me and never made me do anything. It is a big factor as to why I fell in love with the sport. When you’re pushed really hard like that from a father’s aspect, it makes the sport less fun.”
In that same article, Tom Ryan said that in order for anyone to compete in college, they have to have a love of the sport of wrestling. Tom said this about Jake in that same article: “You hope that at some point he loves it enough to continue to do it at this level. There is only one way to continue at this level. You have to have some sort of love for it.”
Below, we look at several famous father/son combinations that have made an impact on the sport of wrestling (the list is by no means all encompassing), and then hear first-hand from coaches and wrestlers about their experience being a part of father/son wrestling combinations—and how they worked together to achieve success.
Like Father, Like Son
Bill Koll/Rob Koll/Will Koll: Bill Koll won three straight NCAA titles from 1946¬–1948 for Iowa State Teachers College (now Northern Iowa) and went on to a successful coaching career at Northern Iowa and Penn State University. Son Rob Koll has coached Cornell University for 25 years. He was a four-time NCAA All-American for North Carolina and 1988 NCAA champion who completed his career as the ACC’s all-time wins leader. Rob’s son Will is now a member of the Cornell wrestling program.
Steve Sanderson/Cael Sanderson/Cody Sanderson/Cole Sanderson: Steve Sanderson wrestled at BYU and his three sons, Cael, Cody and Cole, all succeeded on the mat. Cael was an undefeated four-time NCAA champ for Iowa State, and an Olympic gold medalist. Cody was a Big 12 champion and two-time NCAA runner-up for Iowa State. Cael and Cody now coach together at Penn State. Cole was a four-time NCAA qualifier at Iowa State and is currently the head coach at Woods Cross High School in Utah.
Rex Peery/Hugh Peery/Ed Peery: Father Rex was a three-time NCAA individual champion at Oklahoma A&M and coached his sons Hugh and Ed at Pittsburgh, where each won three individual national titles. The Peery trio combined for an astonishing 9 NCAA titles.
Terry Brands/Nelson Brands: Terry Brands is an NCAA, World, and Olympic Champion, and current University of Iowa assistant coach. His son Nelson was a three-time Iowa high school state champion (Iowa City West) who will wrestle at the University of Iowa next year.
John Smith/Joe Smith: John Smith is arguably the greatest freestyle wrestler in American history and the highly successful coach at Oklahoma State University. Son Joe competed at 157 pounds for the Cowboys.
Jim Miller/TJ Miller: Jim Miller is a Hall of Fame coach who led Wartburg to 9 NCAA DIII national titles. As a wrestler, Miller was a two-time NCAA champion for Northern Iowa. His son TJ Miller is now the head coach at Loras College in Dubuque, Iowa. TJ wrestled for his dad Jim at Wartburg, and was part of three NCAA championship teams, and also won the 2007 197 pound national title.
Tom Borrelli/Jason Borrelli: Tom Borrelli is the long-time coach at Central Michigan, and he coached son Jason, a two-time Michigan state high school champion and two-time MAC champion, at Central Michigan. Jason is now entering his 11th year as head coach at Stanford University.
Derek Fix/Daton Fix: Daton Fix went 168-0 and won four Oklahoma State high school championships. Now a wrestler at Oklahoma State, he lost the 57 KG/125 pound finals at Final X on June 9 to Thomas Gilman, falling just short of making the United States Freestyle World Team as a 20-year-old. Fix’s father, Derek, wrestled at Oklahoma State University, and is a coach with the Cowboy Regional Training Center in Oklahoma City. Daton’s uncle (and Derek's brother) Dustin also wrestled at Oklahoma State and Daton’s grandpa, David, wrestled at Northern Colorado, while his other grandpa, Alan Karstetter, wrestled at Brigham Young University.
Finding Success
Every state has a bevy of past and present high school coaches who have sons who have also excelled on the mat. Wrestling fans can no doubt list off several father/son combos who have had success at the state and national level.
It’s not always easy for sons of successful parents to follow in their mom or dad’s footsteps (in any sport). There can be challenges and high expectations along the way. So what is the key to making it work? We reached out to several coaches and wrestlers who have experience dealing with father/son wrestling success to find out.
Rob Koll on Being Bill’s son and coaching Will:
“My father never put more pressure on me than I put on myself,” Koll said. “That being said, there really isn’t any way to not put pressure on your son when your entire life revolves around the sport. In my situation It would be naive to believe I could act as if it didn’t matter to me if my kids wrestled when, in my case, they know everyone in my family, including my father, wrestled, almost all of my friends wrestled, my entire life revolves around wrestling, and the clothes on their backs and the food on our table was all paid for by the sport of wrestling.
“I expect my boys to wrestle and expect that they work hard. I sincerely don’t get too torn up when they lose, although obviously I’d prefer that they win. I believe I handle their losses better than most parents because I’ve had my day and I continue to have the opportunity to live vicariously through the victories of my current wrestlers.”
Koll said there is not one way to raise a successful athlete other than by doing your best to make the sport something your child enjoys.
“If he hates the sport it is unlikely he will stay with it once dad is no longer in control. I believe the key to this is building community within the sport. I practiced and competed more because my friends were also practicing and competing. Too many coaches focus only on the very best kids in a program and don’t worry about the least talented. What they fail to recognize is that that wrestler might be the reason other kids join or stay with the program.
“I also believe this attitude is the reason we have to move back to a dual meet-orientated schedule. The all-day tournaments cater to the elite wrestler. How many wrestlers, or parents, want to get up at 5 a.m. so they can sit in a gym all day waiting for their kid to wrestle? This type of schedule pushes the casual wrestling parent away from the sport and if you lose the parent you lose their child."
Ty Eustice, Minnesota State University, Mankato assistant coach and former University of Iowa wrestler, on being the son of coach/wrestler Jack Eustice:
Ty Eustice was a two-time All-American wrestler at the University of Iowa and is currently an assistant coach with Minnesota State University, Mankato. His brother, Luke Eustice, is the Director of Operations for the University of Iowa wrestling program and was also an All-American wrestler at Iowa. Their father Jack Eustice was an NCAA champion at Mankato State University (now Minnesota State) and long-time head coach at Blue Earth High School (Blue Earth, MN), where both Ty and Luke wrestled in high school.
Ty talked about what it was like wrestling for his dad, and how that applies to his coaching philosophies today:
“We never felt added pressure, it was a huge benefit having him involved,” he said. "My dad was ahead of his time I think, he really understood how to create a program where everyone was involved and felt a part of it.”
He added: “As a coach now, I see the biggest thing he did was place an emphasis on our effort, not on the outcome. We had a big painting on the wall in the high school room that said, “Success is a journey, not a destination.” I didn’t think much of it then. But that message is what he was trying to instill in us.”
On Jack as a coach, Ty said, “He was very intense and competitive before matches and during, but was only our dad after a match—win or lose. He never got too high or too low with us as individuals. Since he competed at a high level, I think he understood how hard this sport can be and went out of his way to be a little bit more aware of our emotions, be super positive, especially after a loss. Losing is hard enough, we didn’t need any added problems from our dad.”
He said their father’s success didn’t add any pressure as they went on and competed in college, where Luke and Ty were both their own unique person, chasing their individual and team goals, while supporting each other.
Ty’s advice: “If the dad is a not a coach then let the actual coaches coach. It’s ok to just be a dad. If dad is also the coach then I think it’s important to be aware of your actions and attitude on a daily basis in practice and then how you’re reacting after matches—win or lose. Turn the ‘coach’ role off when it’s time to turn it off and just be a dad.”
Mark Reiland, college teammate of Terry Brands and high school coach of Nelson Brands, on the family dynamic:
If there is one coach who knows the Brands family, it’s Iowa City West High School coach Mark Reiland. Reiland was an NCAA champion under Dan Gable at Iowa, and a member of NCAA championship teams with the Hawkeyes. Two of his teammates on those teams were Tom and Terry Brands. But Reiland knew the Brands' brothers well before college, competing with them and on teams as youth/high school wrestlers growing up in Iowa before winning titles together in college.
It made Reiland a natural fit to coach Nelson Brands, a three-time Iowa state champion who will wrestle at Iowa next year. It can’t be easy competing in Iowa and being the son of Terry Brands, one of the biggest wrestling icons in the history of the wrestling-crazed state of Iowa.
Reiland talked about that.
“I was in a unique situation,” he said. “I have known Tom and Terry a long time. We came through the state at the same time, went on trips together as part of Iowa National teams.
“Nelson had a lot of undue pressure because of his name. We saw it more when we left the state to compete, but many in state also thought he should be dominating like his father did in college. Dealing with his dad or his uncle was actually pretty easy. They really let me coach and didn’t interfere. Our relationship may have played a part in that, but really Terry was hands-off unless Nelson asked for the help.
“My advice to Nelson was he is Nelson, not Terry or Tom. Nelson enjoyed the process but also let the fans get to him at times. I think Terry had a plan with Nelson that was very effective for him. He didn’t start Nelson competing until he was in fifth or sixth grade. It worked for Nelson because he is an extremely competitive kid and worked really hard to be successful early on. Yet he hasn’t had the number of matches most kids have his age and his match count and tear on the body isn’t that high. I am not sure if this method would work for everyone, but it did work really well for Nelson.”
Steve Thorpe, Sweet Water Oregon High School head coach and former Oregon State University wrestler, on coaching son Tyler
Steve Thorpe, Chairman of Oregon USA Wrestling, wrestled at Oregon State University, graduating in 1991. He has since won over 500 matches as head coach at Oregon's Sweet Water High School. His son, Travis Thorpe, was a state runner-up at 126 pounds as a freshman in 2018. Steve also coached two daughters who played softball.
He learned early on, whether coaching his son or daughters, not to put too much pressure on his kids. Another dad who also coached told him “you are going to be a dad a lot longer than you will be a coach,” and that stuck.
“I have made mistakes,” Steve said. “Mat-side mistakes, getting too excited, putting too much pressure on my son. Although we form relationships with our athletes and some of them you become a second dad or even a primary figure in their lives, it is still not the same when you coach your son or daughter.”
Before Travis was even born, Steve had won two team titles as a head coach.
“For Travis, there has been a greater and even unfair expectation placed on him as a wrestler," Steve said. “He is a very naturally talented athlete. However, early on in mat club tournaments where they would crab-pool kids, he was often the lightest kid in the bracket or the least experienced, but he was moved up because I was the coach. There have been times even where he was put in spots in a bracket as to “show me” or “he is the coaches’ kid and can handle it.
"It is very hard to explain to people that just because I have success with my teams, that we do not eat, drink and sleep wrestling.”
Tyler Thorpe has also played football, golf, and baseball, and was an all-league catcher this year at Sweet Water High.
“We played other sports. He only practiced his two days a week like the other kids. In his first two years we did four tournaments that were all within 45 minutes of where we lived for a total of six weeks. We eventually started doing more and more. At 9 years we traveled a lot and at 10 he really put time in. He was also playing football and baseball. When traveling to tournaments when he was young and even now, it was never just about wrestling. We would make it a vacation, have fun at the pool, and realize that ultimately winning a bracket in Reno or Pocatello was not the ultimate goal. It was about getting matches, wrestling the best kids and learning how to compete.”
TJ Miller, Loras College coach and national champion at Wartburg, on wrestling under dad and coach Jim Miller
TJ Miller, current head coach at Loras College in Dubuque, Iowa, talked about what it was like growing up wrestling in Iowa and the pressure of having a dad (Jim Miller) who was well-known, and now, a Hall of Fame coach.
“When I was growing up I would see the countless people that knew who Jim was and it made me a little nervous at youth tournaments because I felt like immediately I was being judged if I lost,” TJ said. "All of those pressures were absolutely things that I put on myself. My dad never pressured me to wrestle at a young age. He more so invited it into my life, but he also wanted me to play football, basketball, soccer, and baseball growing up. After my freshman year of high school, I focused solely on wrestling and became more committed to the sport, but I never really saw a lot of success in wrestling until I got to college."
College created a different kind of pressure, TJ said, though it was mostly self-applied.
“There were definitely some rocky moments during Thanksgiving and Christmas with our relationship because most guys got to go home to their families and I had to go home with the head coach, but I think somewhere around my junior year we became a lot closer and figured out how we needed to separate wrestling and family time at home. I think my mom had everything to do with that to be honest with you."
TJ said wrestling dads, and parents, just need to encourage their children to to pursue what they love.
“I actually think being able to play multiple sports throughout my childhood really helped me become a better athlete in wrestling down the road. Wrestling is a tough sport and a lot of times it isn’t fun if they aren’t doing well. My father always assured me that no matter how I did, win or lose, that he loved me. He might not know it but little notes he would write me of encouragement periodically is what really made me want to be a good wrestler for him someday. If you’re a father and have a son that is very stubborn like I was, write them a note. Even though on the surface it might not seem like it worked, it’s working."
There was one match that stood out to longtime wrestling fans in the opening round of the 2016 NCAA Division I national tournament. At 157 pounds, Joe Smith of Oklahoma State defeated Jake Ryan of Ohio State, 11-9, in sudden victory overtime.
Smith is the son of Oklahoma State head coach John Smith, while Ryan is the son of Ohio State coach Jake Ryan.
The fact that second and third generation wrestlers are making an impact on the sport of wrestling, both at the college and high school level, is no surprise. There is a long list of coaches/fathers whose sons excel in the sport.
But what’s unique about these wrestlers is they all seem to say the same thing. Dad was a coach, but didn’t force wrestling upon them. In an article in The Lantern, the Ohio State University student newspaper, Jake Ryan said this about wrestling for his dad, Tom: “He definitely introduced me to it, but he never forced me and never made me do anything. It is a big factor as to why I fell in love with the sport. When you’re pushed really hard like that from a father’s aspect, it makes the sport less fun.”
In that same article, Tom Ryan said that in order for anyone to compete in college, they have to have a love of the sport of wrestling. Tom said this about Jake in that same article: “You hope that at some point he loves it enough to continue to do it at this level. There is only one way to continue at this level. You have to have some sort of love for it.”
Below, we look at several famous father/son combinations that have made an impact on the sport of wrestling (the list is by no means all encompassing), and then hear first-hand from coaches and wrestlers about their experience being a part of father/son wrestling combinations—and how they worked together to achieve success.
Like Father, Like Son
Bill Koll/Rob Koll/Will Koll: Bill Koll won three straight NCAA titles from 1946¬–1948 for Iowa State Teachers College (now Northern Iowa) and went on to a successful coaching career at Northern Iowa and Penn State University. Son Rob Koll has coached Cornell University for 25 years. He was a four-time NCAA All-American for North Carolina and 1988 NCAA champion who completed his career as the ACC’s all-time wins leader. Rob’s son Will is now a member of the Cornell wrestling program.
Steve Sanderson/Cael Sanderson/Cody Sanderson/Cole Sanderson: Steve Sanderson wrestled at BYU and his three sons, Cael, Cody and Cole, all succeeded on the mat. Cael was an undefeated four-time NCAA champ for Iowa State, and an Olympic gold medalist. Cody was a Big 12 champion and two-time NCAA runner-up for Iowa State. Cael and Cody now coach together at Penn State. Cole was a four-time NCAA qualifier at Iowa State and is currently the head coach at Woods Cross High School in Utah.
Rex Peery/Hugh Peery/Ed Peery: Father Rex was a three-time NCAA individual champion at Oklahoma A&M and coached his sons Hugh and Ed at Pittsburgh, where each won three individual national titles. The Peery trio combined for an astonishing 9 NCAA titles.
Terry Brands/Nelson Brands: Terry Brands is an NCAA, World, and Olympic Champion, and current University of Iowa assistant coach. His son Nelson was a three-time Iowa high school state champion (Iowa City West) who will wrestle at the University of Iowa next year.
John Smith/Joe Smith: John Smith is arguably the greatest freestyle wrestler in American history and the highly successful coach at Oklahoma State University. Son Joe competed at 157 pounds for the Cowboys.
Jim Miller/TJ Miller: Jim Miller is a Hall of Fame coach who led Wartburg to 9 NCAA DIII national titles. As a wrestler, Miller was a two-time NCAA champion for Northern Iowa. His son TJ Miller is now the head coach at Loras College in Dubuque, Iowa. TJ wrestled for his dad Jim at Wartburg, and was part of three NCAA championship teams, and also won the 2007 197 pound national title.
Tom Borrelli/Jason Borrelli: Tom Borrelli is the long-time coach at Central Michigan, and he coached son Jason, a two-time Michigan state high school champion and two-time MAC champion, at Central Michigan. Jason is now entering his 11th year as head coach at Stanford University.
Derek Fix/Daton Fix: Daton Fix went 168-0 and won four Oklahoma State high school championships. Now a wrestler at Oklahoma State, he lost the 57 KG/125 pound finals at Final X on June 9 to Thomas Gilman, falling just short of making the United States Freestyle World Team as a 20-year-old. Fix’s father, Derek, wrestled at Oklahoma State University, and is a coach with the Cowboy Regional Training Center in Oklahoma City. Daton’s uncle (and Derek's brother) Dustin also wrestled at Oklahoma State and Daton’s grandpa, David, wrestled at Northern Colorado, while his other grandpa, Alan Karstetter, wrestled at Brigham Young University.
Finding Success
Every state has a bevy of past and present high school coaches who have sons who have also excelled on the mat. Wrestling fans can no doubt list off several father/son combos who have had success at the state and national level.
It’s not always easy for sons of successful parents to follow in their mom or dad’s footsteps (in any sport). There can be challenges and high expectations along the way. So what is the key to making it work? We reached out to several coaches and wrestlers who have experience dealing with father/son wrestling success to find out.
Rob Koll on Being Bill’s son and coaching Will:
“My father never put more pressure on me than I put on myself,” Koll said. “That being said, there really isn’t any way to not put pressure on your son when your entire life revolves around the sport. In my situation It would be naive to believe I could act as if it didn’t matter to me if my kids wrestled when, in my case, they know everyone in my family, including my father, wrestled, almost all of my friends wrestled, my entire life revolves around wrestling, and the clothes on their backs and the food on our table was all paid for by the sport of wrestling.
“I expect my boys to wrestle and expect that they work hard. I sincerely don’t get too torn up when they lose, although obviously I’d prefer that they win. I believe I handle their losses better than most parents because I’ve had my day and I continue to have the opportunity to live vicariously through the victories of my current wrestlers.”
Koll said there is not one way to raise a successful athlete other than by doing your best to make the sport something your child enjoys.
“If he hates the sport it is unlikely he will stay with it once dad is no longer in control. I believe the key to this is building community within the sport. I practiced and competed more because my friends were also practicing and competing. Too many coaches focus only on the very best kids in a program and don’t worry about the least talented. What they fail to recognize is that that wrestler might be the reason other kids join or stay with the program.
“I also believe this attitude is the reason we have to move back to a dual meet-orientated schedule. The all-day tournaments cater to the elite wrestler. How many wrestlers, or parents, want to get up at 5 a.m. so they can sit in a gym all day waiting for their kid to wrestle? This type of schedule pushes the casual wrestling parent away from the sport and if you lose the parent you lose their child."
Ty Eustice, Minnesota State University, Mankato assistant coach and former University of Iowa wrestler, on being the son of coach/wrestler Jack Eustice:
Ty Eustice was a two-time All-American wrestler at the University of Iowa and is currently an assistant coach with Minnesota State University, Mankato. His brother, Luke Eustice, is the Director of Operations for the University of Iowa wrestling program and was also an All-American wrestler at Iowa. Their father Jack Eustice was an NCAA champion at Mankato State University (now Minnesota State) and long-time head coach at Blue Earth High School (Blue Earth, MN), where both Ty and Luke wrestled in high school.
Ty talked about what it was like wrestling for his dad, and how that applies to his coaching philosophies today:
“We never felt added pressure, it was a huge benefit having him involved,” he said. "My dad was ahead of his time I think, he really understood how to create a program where everyone was involved and felt a part of it.”
He added: “As a coach now, I see the biggest thing he did was place an emphasis on our effort, not on the outcome. We had a big painting on the wall in the high school room that said, “Success is a journey, not a destination.” I didn’t think much of it then. But that message is what he was trying to instill in us.”
On Jack as a coach, Ty said, “He was very intense and competitive before matches and during, but was only our dad after a match—win or lose. He never got too high or too low with us as individuals. Since he competed at a high level, I think he understood how hard this sport can be and went out of his way to be a little bit more aware of our emotions, be super positive, especially after a loss. Losing is hard enough, we didn’t need any added problems from our dad.”
He said their father’s success didn’t add any pressure as they went on and competed in college, where Luke and Ty were both their own unique person, chasing their individual and team goals, while supporting each other.
Ty’s advice: “If the dad is a not a coach then let the actual coaches coach. It’s ok to just be a dad. If dad is also the coach then I think it’s important to be aware of your actions and attitude on a daily basis in practice and then how you’re reacting after matches—win or lose. Turn the ‘coach’ role off when it’s time to turn it off and just be a dad.”
Mark Reiland, college teammate of Terry Brands and high school coach of Nelson Brands, on the family dynamic:
If there is one coach who knows the Brands family, it’s Iowa City West High School coach Mark Reiland. Reiland was an NCAA champion under Dan Gable at Iowa, and a member of NCAA championship teams with the Hawkeyes. Two of his teammates on those teams were Tom and Terry Brands. But Reiland knew the Brands' brothers well before college, competing with them and on teams as youth/high school wrestlers growing up in Iowa before winning titles together in college.
It made Reiland a natural fit to coach Nelson Brands, a three-time Iowa state champion who will wrestle at Iowa next year. It can’t be easy competing in Iowa and being the son of Terry Brands, one of the biggest wrestling icons in the history of the wrestling-crazed state of Iowa.
Reiland talked about that.
“I was in a unique situation,” he said. “I have known Tom and Terry a long time. We came through the state at the same time, went on trips together as part of Iowa National teams.
“Nelson had a lot of undue pressure because of his name. We saw it more when we left the state to compete, but many in state also thought he should be dominating like his father did in college. Dealing with his dad or his uncle was actually pretty easy. They really let me coach and didn’t interfere. Our relationship may have played a part in that, but really Terry was hands-off unless Nelson asked for the help.
“My advice to Nelson was he is Nelson, not Terry or Tom. Nelson enjoyed the process but also let the fans get to him at times. I think Terry had a plan with Nelson that was very effective for him. He didn’t start Nelson competing until he was in fifth or sixth grade. It worked for Nelson because he is an extremely competitive kid and worked really hard to be successful early on. Yet he hasn’t had the number of matches most kids have his age and his match count and tear on the body isn’t that high. I am not sure if this method would work for everyone, but it did work really well for Nelson.”
Steve Thorpe, Sweet Water Oregon High School head coach and former Oregon State University wrestler, on coaching son Tyler
Steve Thorpe, Chairman of Oregon USA Wrestling, wrestled at Oregon State University, graduating in 1991. He has since won over 500 matches as head coach at Oregon's Sweet Water High School. His son, Travis Thorpe, was a state runner-up at 126 pounds as a freshman in 2018. Steve also coached two daughters who played softball.
He learned early on, whether coaching his son or daughters, not to put too much pressure on his kids. Another dad who also coached told him “you are going to be a dad a lot longer than you will be a coach,” and that stuck.
“I have made mistakes,” Steve said. “Mat-side mistakes, getting too excited, putting too much pressure on my son. Although we form relationships with our athletes and some of them you become a second dad or even a primary figure in their lives, it is still not the same when you coach your son or daughter.”
Before Travis was even born, Steve had won two team titles as a head coach.
“For Travis, there has been a greater and even unfair expectation placed on him as a wrestler," Steve said. “He is a very naturally talented athlete. However, early on in mat club tournaments where they would crab-pool kids, he was often the lightest kid in the bracket or the least experienced, but he was moved up because I was the coach. There have been times even where he was put in spots in a bracket as to “show me” or “he is the coaches’ kid and can handle it.
"It is very hard to explain to people that just because I have success with my teams, that we do not eat, drink and sleep wrestling.”
Tyler Thorpe has also played football, golf, and baseball, and was an all-league catcher this year at Sweet Water High.
“We played other sports. He only practiced his two days a week like the other kids. In his first two years we did four tournaments that were all within 45 minutes of where we lived for a total of six weeks. We eventually started doing more and more. At 9 years we traveled a lot and at 10 he really put time in. He was also playing football and baseball. When traveling to tournaments when he was young and even now, it was never just about wrestling. We would make it a vacation, have fun at the pool, and realize that ultimately winning a bracket in Reno or Pocatello was not the ultimate goal. It was about getting matches, wrestling the best kids and learning how to compete.”
TJ Miller, Loras College coach and national champion at Wartburg, on wrestling under dad and coach Jim Miller
TJ Miller, current head coach at Loras College in Dubuque, Iowa, talked about what it was like growing up wrestling in Iowa and the pressure of having a dad (Jim Miller) who was well-known, and now, a Hall of Fame coach.
“When I was growing up I would see the countless people that knew who Jim was and it made me a little nervous at youth tournaments because I felt like immediately I was being judged if I lost,” TJ said. "All of those pressures were absolutely things that I put on myself. My dad never pressured me to wrestle at a young age. He more so invited it into my life, but he also wanted me to play football, basketball, soccer, and baseball growing up. After my freshman year of high school, I focused solely on wrestling and became more committed to the sport, but I never really saw a lot of success in wrestling until I got to college."
College created a different kind of pressure, TJ said, though it was mostly self-applied.
“There were definitely some rocky moments during Thanksgiving and Christmas with our relationship because most guys got to go home to their families and I had to go home with the head coach, but I think somewhere around my junior year we became a lot closer and figured out how we needed to separate wrestling and family time at home. I think my mom had everything to do with that to be honest with you."
TJ said wrestling dads, and parents, just need to encourage their children to to pursue what they love.
“I actually think being able to play multiple sports throughout my childhood really helped me become a better athlete in wrestling down the road. Wrestling is a tough sport and a lot of times it isn’t fun if they aren’t doing well. My father always assured me that no matter how I did, win or lose, that he loved me. He might not know it but little notes he would write me of encouragement periodically is what really made me want to be a good wrestler for him someday. If you’re a father and have a son that is very stubborn like I was, write them a note. Even though on the surface it might not seem like it worked, it’s working."
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