Wrestling to Succeed Kiki Kelley

by Michael Rand

Kiki Kelley says she has been called “a real-life Forrest Gump” by those who notice her uncanny ability to find her way into some of the world’s most important moments. What’s more likely is that Kelley, 43, a Team Leader for the U.S. National Greco-Roman team, has an unusual knack for knowing when to follow her instincts—and then doing so in unrelenting fashion. That mindset can be used, in retrospect, to trace many of the most important moments in her life back now to her present role of influence within USA Wrestling.

“Life is so strange,” Kelley says. “I’ve learned to go wherever God leads me, and that is in some crazy places.”

The Underdog

Born to a family with teenage parents, Kelley grew up poor in rural Minnesota. Within that small world, though, the Olympics were like magic to her, she says.“Since childhood, I've watched every single Olympics with rapt attention,” Kelley says, “never once thinking I'd somehow have the chance to actually participate in young Olympians' dreams, much less represent my country as a team leader.”

She saw in the Olympic spirit, and particularly with wrestlers, an underdog status to which she felt as though she could relate.“As an underdog myself, I am naturally drawn to the Women's and Greco teams,” Kelley says. “They do so much with so little, and have the best attitudes.”

Always a Fighter

At age 21, Kelley was diagnosed with severe ulcerative colitis, a condition that eventually developed into a condition that nearly took her life. Shortly after finishing college, she was given a just a two-percent chance to live and spent four months quarantined and undergoing endless surgeries.

Kelley says she nearly lost her will to live during that struggle, but her stubbornness and determination—traits that she says she identifies with wrestling—helped her persevere. She recovered and became one of the first AmeriCorps volunteers under former President Bill Clinton, helping lead a group of students in rural North Carolina to unprecedented success on state writing exams.

“Once you nearly die, it gives you the freedom to take a lot of risks,” Kelley says. “And that’s what I want from my wrestlers—to take risks. This body, this opportunity, you will never get it again. You’re never going to get this time back.”

By the end of the 1990s, Kelley eventually had landed at IBM, where she acquired programming and website building skills as well as met her future husband. They both eventually moved on to Google, where she became the company’s first editor and helped guide the Internet giant through its stock market IPO. In 2005, she gave birth to her daughter, Madeleine—the first baby born to two "Googlers,” as she puts it.

Having to overcome so many obstacles to achieve success in her life, Kelley says, helps her identify with wrestlers and vice-versa.“In short, their Olympic dreams became my dreams, and little by little, I found ways to get more involved,” she says. “And since I'm a wrestler at heart, even though I never wrestled except symbolically with illness and obstacles, I was welcomed into the wrestling family.”

Chance Meeting

Though Kelley had family members who wrestled, she might not have become so involved with the sport had her life not taken yet another turn.

While working at Google, she met David Surofchek, a former U.S. Greco-Roman wrestler. And on a family visit to Colorado for the historic Democratic National Convention during which Barack Obama was nominated for the 2008 election, Kelley took a trip with Surofchek to the U.S. Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs.

“I was amazed at how Olympians live on nearly nothing, somehow raising families on small stipends or living singly for years in dorm rooms,” Kelley says. “But once you really get to know our wrestlers, you find that they are impressive on so many levels: smart, thoughtful, funny, engaging, kind, generous, leaders as well as elite athletes.”

Getting to know them better made her eager to work more closely with the program, and she jumped at the chance to be a Team Leader.“I see myself as a much-needed antidote to the testosterone-saturated environment,” Kelley says, “and I think (wrestlers) appreciate having a mom figure far from home who loves them unconditionally and will support them in their goals however I can.”

Steve Fraser, longtime U.S. Greco-Roman coach, who recently took on the additional role of Chief of Donor and Alumni Relations for USA Wrestling, is grateful for that initial meeting between Kelley and Surofchek.

“I love her to death. She’s a wonderful, kind woman,” Fraser says of Kelley. “She knows enough about the sport to be very helpful and a lot about the psychological aspect of not just sports, but life. She’s been a wonderful supporter. All the wrestlers love her and all the coaches love her. She’s been very helpful in trying to achieve our goals in trying to win medals and turn out great people.”

Future Forward

Kelley’s life journey—and wrestling journey—led her to Iran in May, where she broke down a major gender and cultural barrier as the U.S. Greco-Roman team competed in the World Cup. While there, Kelley became the first woman in 30 years to be allowed into an Iranian sports arena during a wrestling tournament.

That experience led Kelley to become an ambassador of sorts. She says she still speaks regularly with Iranian friends after being asked to stay an extra week by the Iranian Sports Ministry. Kelley has also been nominated for the position of Sports Envoy to Iran by the U.S. State Department.“I believe that through sports diplomacy, much is possible that in conventional wisdom is said to be impossible,” Kelley says.

In the meantime, Kelley, who now makes her home in Minneapolis,has begun work toward a PhD in psychology. She believes her studies will eventually be useful in helping wrestling bridge other barriers in society—once again turning her evolving life into a way to help the sport she’s come to love.

“I never want to stop growing or learning. I’ll never get stuck in a hairstyle or a decade. There’s always more,” she says.“I’ve done everything single thing I was told I couldn’t, and maybe that will be an inspiration for others like our wrestlers have been for me.”

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Interested in becoming a Team Leader and helping the US win more Olympic medals? Contact Steve Fraser at sfraser@usawrestling.org.